I hear repeatedly about the oddities...to myself. Quite an interesting judgment, inference and assessment. Obviously, it's a superficial view due to little knowledge, recognition.
In my life I have met absolutely different people by their outlook, well-being, views and lived events. Dozens of people with their own unique destinies, some of whom still remember my name, tastes and habits.
No matter how banal it sounds, but "your man" after many, many years will remain in your memory, even if not next to you. He will remember, congratulate you on your birthday and make surprises. Three, five, ten or even 17 years later... what the heart keeps and the soul remembers does not lose its power, does not go out and in no way transforms into something else.
Grabbing, holding, not letting go, begging, humiliating, begging, bribing (even if not with money)... why? This is no longer healthy behavior...you are sick. Addiction is nothing but an attempt to get another "dose". Except that your real "drug" will never hurt you. It won't hurt you or make you feel bad or sick.
Your real "drug" is inside and you can't get it out. Let it live there peacefully, and you just remember it.....