Pity or sympathy: the concept of feelings

Pity. I have had my own attitude to this word and concept for quite a few years now. Is it possible, is it necessary… to pity a person? Is it an indicator of empathy, sympathy or some indicator that you consider a person weak and incapable of solving a problem, overcoming fear and pain. It is unlikely that there is a clearly correct solution and a true opinion.

#StartWithYourself, as I often say. I'll start. Perhaps only those close to me know the story associated with "pity". And it's not worth voicing it in detail here... But! Back in 2011, when I practically couldn't move fully, experiencing hellish physical pain and suffering every day... a person who was very dear to me at that moment, coming face to face asked a question: "Do you want me to pity you"? To which I answered - yes! "Sorry, I can't" - the words that I heard after. The banal "Ilya, be patient just a little bit longer, everything will be fine soon" would have been the best medicine for me.

A drug addict rotting in a hospital, suffering from withdrawal and moaning in pain... no, I don't feel sorry for him. Absolutely not! A person who can no longer move because of his weight - I don't feel sorry to see his tears. She is alone with children, not having time to do her nails, or even get a good night's sleep - I don't feel sorry, because he hasn't changed. Hmm... he has always been like this. Convulsions, dizziness and nervous tics - I don't feel sorry for them if the choice was made in favor of work and money. Betrayal - I don't feel sorry... your choice not to see, not to hear, to endure, to forgive, to endlessly seek compromises.

In general, there is little that evokes pity in me. In most cases, a person is to blame for what happened, having made a choice in favor of the cause that led to the event from which he now experiences pain, suffering or other difficulties. It is another matter when the cause of such suffering is the act of another person, his criminal negligence, stupidity, inattention or “walking on heads”.

Past the slanting alleys, swamps and wells,
Past the shop windows, admiring the daffodils,
Past the drunkards, whose devilish appearance is terrible,
Past the homeless, TikTokers, someone's princes,

Past myself, who ruined the future,
Past the dream drowned in the first point,
Past the desire to throw a stone from a cliff,
Past the advice (put it back in your head),

Past dementors, coaches, ex-lovers,
Past abusers, dolls, Russian women,
Past everything that even God has no power over,
Past the one who fucking came up with all this,

Past the cheap and correct ones, past the stuffy ones,
Past those confident in every decision,
Past those who look like wolves and past the best ones –
These people only attach importance to themselves,

Past relatives knocked out by illnesses,
Past those who have prematurely passed into the afterlife,
Past the interventions with their iron logic,
Past the depressions that explode blood clots in the body,

Past those begging for help on their knees,
Past the children sent to the orphanage,
Past the grannies selling flowers in the subways,
Past the hours wasted in the day,

Past the disaster and the ruins associated with it,
Past accidents, crises and darkness
I would walk through as a man of super steel,
I would have passed without seeing any traces of debris

With a subtle sense of life's wounded souls,
Not allowing the heart to drift like this...
But a person should not be indifferent,
There is no elevator out of indifference.

© Anastasia Apukhtina

If in one case a kind word of support saves a life, then in another it provokes more and more mistakes. “Pity is a manifestation of weakness” is not always an axiom. Only the author of these decisions should be responsible for their decisions!

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