It's interesting to feel the hopelessness... a moment you don't feel, but only realize its consequences. If you imagine a very viscous gas/smoke in a balloon... And the balloon bursts. You can't influence the event, and there is no strength and desire to do so. You are mesmerized as if watching the smoke slowly dissolve.
A damn peculiar feeling of desolation that cannot be described in words. It's better to feel it. A very strange day in the last few months. I'd like to circle it on the calendar with a color.... choose which one...