Mood: a new format of comfort

More than ever before. Long enough to be able to say: I would not have thought that I could change myself, my views, values and attitude towards people, events and phenomena so much. It's never too late to start over, to change... so they say. Only it doesn't work according to a plan, like one of the checklist items.

For a very long time it was in me. But the moment came when I was able to express what was tormenting me from the inside - my mood. I had once derived a theorem for myself, which I thought was empirically proven to be absolutely accurate: a good mood is bound to be followed by a bad one - a problem, an unpleasantness, a disease, etc.

Consciously trying to contain myself, enclosing all positive emotions under a press, hiding them in a safe without a code/key, I was sure of the "normality" of such an "even" state and mood.

I'm human. Although it may seem dubious and surprising to some, it is hard to deny the facts. Sometimes it happened that I did not have time or strength to hold those positive emotions, they burst outward. I would smile with all my whites... And then... yes! Yes! Yes! Then I blamed myself for experiencing that emotion openly, somehow for real. I was ashamed that I felt good.

Now, listening to a book about psychological syndromes read by the authors themselves, I name in each of myself. I realize how many things are tormenting me from inside, oppressing me, holding me back and, if it is easier - limiting me. A wonderful opportunity to look at myself and the people around me from a different angle. It also describes not only the signs, but also ways of solving problems.

Today, from place to place, hundreds of miles away, I see myself in my place. Different each time, but in my place! I'm comfortable! This is a new format of comfort that I could never have accepted for myself before. New cities, interesting people, beautiful buildings, amazing nature - I feel good! I like it! I am not ashamed!

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